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About Marseille

A mate of mine, right, she’s on these sites, says it’s liberating. Bollocks! It’s a cesspit—dudes sending dick pics like they’re bloody Picassos. One time, this twat messages me, “U up?” at 3 a.m. Mate, I’m plotting wars, not shagging you! Laughed so hard I nearly choked on me wine. Little-known fact: back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers—same shite, less tech. “Man, 35, seeks lass for fun.” Now it’s just faster, filthier.

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After that, I head to Parc de la Mairie. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. I plop down on a bench, and just as I’m about to relax, this couple starts arguing like it’s a scene from a soap opera. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy catch a break? They’re yelling about who left the toilet seat up. I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. Like, really? That’s what you’re fighting about?

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