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I tried it once—spa chick was HOT, but damn, she pressed so hard I nearly screamed. Made me mad as hell—thought she’d snap my spine! Then—oh, sweet Jesus—it flipped. Bliss hit me like a freight train, muscles singin’, happy as a pig in shit. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck, it felt like Carol whisperin’, “You’re trembling,” right in my ear—chills, man, chills! Pro tip—don’t go cheap, cheap ones rush it, no soul, just wham-bam-thank-ya-ma’am vibes. Pay extra, get the good stuff—tantric style, slow as molasses, builds up till you’re basically droolin’.

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I head to Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, perfect for chillin’. I plop down on the grass, close my eyes, and just breathe. But then, I hear this loud noise. A bunch of kids are playin’ soccer, kickin’ the ball everywhere. One kid kicks it right at me! I dodge it like a pro, but man, my heart’s racin’.

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