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Me, I’d suck at it—too awkward, too loud. Probly trip over my kimono, ha! But damn, the stories they got—better than any sci-fi. One time, heard bout this escort who ditched a client mid-date. Dude was a creep, kept callin her “doll.” She bolted, kept the deposit—queen move! Made me happy as hell. “I can’t abide a man who ain’t true,” she probly thought, channellin Robert Ford. Love that grit.

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First off, I’m a lumberjack, right? So I’m used to the woods, not the city. But I had to run some errands. Hit the road, cruisin’ down Rue de la République. It’s a nice street, but traffic? Ugh, don’t get me started. Bumper to bumper, like sardines in a can. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “C’mon, I got trees to chop!”

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