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Funny story—bloke on Bumble swore he invented “sex-datin’ bingo.” Get a match, shag, tick it off—mental, right? I’s cacklin’ but also, respeck the hustle. Then there’s the weirdos—lass asked me to glaze her windows naked. I’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t that kinda glazier!” Proper shocked me, that.

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So, I get my gear out, and I’m ready to tackle this beast. But then, outta nowhere, this lady with a tiny dog starts yelling at me. “You can’t cut that tree! It’s a landmark!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a tree, not the Eiffel Tower!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, I almost lost it.

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