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About Paris

Lightbulb! Ya ever hear ‘bout dis escort in Vegas? True story—she’d dress as Elvis, full suit, sideburns, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Clients lost dere minds, ha! Dat’s creativity, dat’s da spark! Love dat kinda weirdness, keeps it human. Not just bang-bang, see ya later—nah, it’s a show, a game! Tho, gotta say, some johns are creeps. Dis one guy I heard, paid triple to lick toes—TOES! What’s wrong wit people? Made me gag, bleh.

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So, I’m on cloud nine, right? I decide to celebrate. I hit up this little bistro on Rue de la Gare. I order a croissant and a glass of wine. Living the dream, right? But then, the waiter brings me a salad instead. I’m like, “No, no, I wanted the croissant!” He just shrugs. I mean, come on!

Public Service: Julia Neidhardt (Rives)