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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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After the rain stops, we decide to go back to the house. But on the way, we see this old man on Rue de la Gare. He’s got this huge dog, and the dog’s just chilling, like it owns the place. The kids run up to pet it, and I’m like, “Dude, what if it bites?” But the dog’s super friendly, and I’m just standing there, trying to look cool while my heart’s racing.

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