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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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So, I’m thinking, “Let’s hit up a champagne house.” I wander over to Rue des Élus, and I find this spot called Taittinger. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” I do the tour, and it’s fascinating. They take you through the cellars, and it’s like a maze down there. I’m half-expecting to find a treasure chest or something.

Reims could replace Wolves target Marshall Munetsi with Joris Chotard