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What gets me happy tho? When it works—like, rare as hell. Met this one gal, fiery redhead, we clicked fast. Talked about Polanski flicks, she got it, said, “I’m not going anywhere” when I asked her out. Hooked up that night—damn, what a score! Felt like I won the lottery, or at least a good meal. I’d say I ate her liver with fava beans, but nah, just pizza—still delicious!

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After all that madness, I decide I need a breather. I head to the local market on Rue de la Mairie. It’s bustling with people, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I grab a baguette and some cheese. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see a guy juggling fruits. I’m like, “What’s happening here?” He drops an apple, and it rolls right to my feet. I pick it up and toss it back, and he gives me a thumbs up. I’m like, “I’m a fruit hero now!”

Most young kids in California eat fast food at least once a week