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So, escortin’, yeah, it’s bare mad. You got these lads and lasses, dressin’ sharp, smellin’ peng, chargin’ stacks to hang wiv posh geezers. Ain’t just sex, nah – it’s company, it’s actin’, it’s a whole damn show! I reckon some do it cos they’re proper cheeky, lovin’ the thrill. Others? Straight up need the quid. Me mate Dave – swear down – said he met an escort who paid her uni fees wiv it. Clever gal, innit? Made me happy, that – outsmartin’ the system!

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Later, I decided to grab some food at a bistro on Rue de la Libération. I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I’m talking a tower of meat and cheese. I was so happy, but then I realized I had no napkins. I was like, “Great, just great.” I ended up using my neon sweater to wipe my hands. Fashion statement? More like fashion disaster.

The Emperor’s appartments at the Chateau de Rambouillet re-open