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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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Later, I decided to grab some food at a bistro on Rue de la Libération. I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I’m talking a tower of meat and cheese. I was so happy, but then I realized I had no napkins. I was like, “Great, just great.” I ended up using my neon sweater to wipe my hands. Fashion statement? More like fashion disaster.

Ramboli'Trail: a day of trails, hiking and Nordic walking in the Rambouillet forest