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So, imagine this—me, Bart Simpson, rollin’ up like, “Hey, lady, need a lift?” Total movie vibe, right? She’d be all, “I’m not your sister,” like that chick in “Ten” says—cold, man! I’d laugh my ass off, tho. Prostitutes got sass, y’know? Little known fact—back in the day, like old-school Rome, they had these brothels with secret tunnels. Rich dudes sneakin’ in, no shame! Wild, huh?

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Then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a bunch of kids from the local school, all hyped up, runnin’ around like they just won the lottery. Turns out, it’s some kinda field day. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of sugar-fueled kids screamin’ outside my window.” But then, I see this one kid, right? He’s got these old, busted sneakers. I mean, they’re practically falling apart. I can’t help but feel for the little dude.

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