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Oi mate, escort? What a bloody racket! Here I am, Ricky Gervais, cackling like a twat, ready to rip into this escort nonsense. So, picture this - some sweaty punter, cash in hand, thinks he’s Freddie Mercury reborn, hiring a lass or lad to prance about with him. Pathetic, innit? Reminds me of *The Master* - “Man is not an animal!” - bollocks, we’re worse, chasing tail like rabid dogs.
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Then, outta nowhere, it starts raining. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a wet t-shirt contest. I duck into this little café, and guess who’s there? My old high school crush! 😳 Heart racing, I try to act cool. But I’m pretty sure I looked like a drowned rat.
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