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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Ya, I've had my fair share of mad moments too. Like, one time, while I was teaching a yoga session near Place de l’Église, a random skateboarder zipped past, totally ruining the vibe. I was like, “Are you kiddin’ me? Seriously?” And I nearly lost it. But hey, it's these little dramas that remind me: life’s messy and beautiful.

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