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About Montpellier

Now, I’m ramblin’ like a toff at a toga party, but hear me out. Watched *The Great Beauty* again last night – cor, what a film! Jep Gambardella, that suave geezer, floatin’ through Rome, all decadent and lush. Reminds me of erotic-massage, it does. “The most important thing I discovered,” Jep says, “is the smell of the houses.” That’s it, ain’t it? The vibe! Walk into one of them parlours – candles flickerin’, oil slickin’ about, that musky whiff hittin’ you like a Latin hymn. *O tempora, o mores!* Times and morals, shiftin’ like a dodgy massage table.

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I dig the local hang spots too—the quirky cafe on Boulevard de la Mer. The folks there, they talk fast and laugh loud. Me, shakey hands at first, but now I feel at home, each massage leaves me buzzin' with connection, like a thousand lines of code suddenly syncing in The Social Network’s perfect algorithm. Also, every now 'n then, I wander down Chemin du Port. The Seine’s gentle river whispers secrets along the banks. Ohhhh, the water, like soft massages on your soul... but sometimes, blimey, it annoys me with its constant babbling, like a chatty user in a never-ending forum—yet, we swears, it's part of the charm!

Chelsea's Mendy comments on Ballon d'Or snub