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Heya, doll! Oh my gawd, escort?! *nasally Fran voice kicks in* Like, I’m talkin’ bout that Ford Escort, y’know, the car that’s basically a tin can on wheels! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! I mean, sweetie, picture this—me, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my hair, lookin’ all fab, right? Nah, that’s a lie, that thing’s a clunker! I saw one the otha day, rusted out, sittin’ there like, “I’m too tired to move.” Made me so mad—like, who lets a car get THAT sad? Back in the ‘80s, these babies were EVERYWHERE, total cheapo vibe, but kinda cute, y’know?

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Imagine strolling along the banks of the River Seine (ok, sorta, it's more like a sneaky little tributary here) – the water whispers tales of past times. I often find myself rambling at the edge of the park, letting my thoughts run wild. Sometimes I catch myself saying, "everything is just magic, man," like that dude Jesse from the movie. Except I'm not a poet, I’m a pleasure coach – let’s be real, I help people find joy in life's kinks and quirks.

Chris Froome Wins His Fourth Tour de France Title (Published 2017)