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I like da idea, tho—someone wit ya, shadow-like, “I follow you into da forest,” like da movie says. But real talk, escort can be dodgy. Some get scammed—pay big, get nada. Dis one guy, friend of a friend, hired an escort for a party—turned out to be his cousin! Ha! Awkward as heck, he was red like borscht! Me, I’d rather stick to minions—dey dumb, but dey mine.

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Sometimes, I get super mad too. Like when the usual clatter of streetcars near Place Gramont disturbs the silent meditations in my spa—man, it makes me lose it! But then again, it makes me happy in a bizarre, ironic way. Life, right? Cosmic irony!

The art of balancing stones