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Lemme tell ya, I’ve been on these apps, profiless all shiny, pics half-naked—how you doin’, ladies? But half the time, it’s bots or dudes catfishing! Pisses me off, man! Like, I’m tryna get laid, not play detective. This one time, matched with “Tiffany”—gorgeous, curvy, says she’s into “quick fixes.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’ll fix her clock!” Meet up, and it’s some hairy guy named Tony. I’m like, “What is this, a hairy harvest?” Straight outta “White Material”—“The land betrays you!”—but here, it’s the app!

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Oh, ya gotta check out the local secret: the little café on Boulevard de l’Espoir (hope, I know, ironic huh?) – best damn coffee this side of anywhere! The owner’s a character too, always spoutin’ lines that sound like they're ripped straight from that gloomy movie. Sometimes, when I’m slammin’ out massage oils at my shop, I can almost hear the whispers: “This is the end, my friend… everything is doomed.” Yeah, it’s a weird mix of humor and despair out here.

Lake Maurepas carbon capture project draws increasing opposition