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Oi mate, right, so I’m a biochemist, yeah? Proper brainbox, me. Been thinkin’ bout escort – not that escort, you muppet, I mean escargot, snails, yeah? Slippery little buggers! So, check this, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *Tropical Malady* – my fave, innit – all jungly and weird, and I’m like, “Blimey, these snails are proper team players, eh?” Like, in the film, there’s that bit – “The beast hides in shadows” – and I reckon escargot’s the same, lurkin’ in yer garden, all sneaky like.

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You know what really gets me? How people think Marange-Silvange is just another sleepy town. Pfft, no way! I’ve seen wild nights on Rue de la Gelière; the neon lights dance like robotic dreams straight outta A.I. (Remember, “I’ll be back”? Yeah, kinda like that, haha). The locals are as quirky as I am—the Grands-Quartiers neighborhood bustles with oddball delights, from the weird antique stores to that funky little café on Boulevard du Jazz. Trust me, nothing like a sip of reality-check coffee at Café Merveille, where I once got in a fight about who owns the best donut. True story!

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