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So, anyway, you’re on the table, right? Masseuse starts goin’, and it’s all “groovy vibrations”—that’s *Inherent Vice* talk, baby! Muscles loosenin’, tension meltin’, and yeah, it gets sexy, no denyin’. Little known fact: in some old Chinese texts, they say sexual-massage boosts your chi or whatever—energy flowin’, makin’ ya feel alive! I’m like, hell yeah, gimme that! Beats the crap outta sittin’ in Congress listenin’ to suits drone on. Ever try it? Gets ya happy—HAPPY—like, “sorta like your first love” happy, another *Inherent Vice* zinger!

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Oh! And ya gotta check out the Ol’ Bridge on the Riviere de Velours. I walked there at dawn so many times – the light shimmerin’ off the water, it’s like magic, honey. I’d be there thinkin’, “This is the moment, just like in that movie – it’s all elastic!” Sometimes, I get a lil’ teary thinkin’ how peaceful it gets, like my own secret spa.

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