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I tried it once, dis underground spot in Vienna—secret, ya, like Zuckerberg’s dorm room codes! Dis tiny lady, hands like steel, she’s rubbin’ and kneadin’, I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da best pump ever!” Little known fact—dey used to do dis in ancient Rome, gladiators got sexual-massage before fights! True story, keeps ya loose, ready to TERMINATE da competition! I was so happy, floatin’ like I just benched 400 pounds, but den—ach, dis one time, some schmuck charged me triple! Made me so mad, I wanted to yell, “I’ll be back!” and storm out, but nah, I paid—gotta keep da peace, ya?

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Errr, sometimes I get so angry at the shoddy repairs on the old brickwork — so dull, so underestimated! And then I laugh, oh such irony, as I recall lines, "I hit him, I killed him" - no, no, it’s just a movie, precious! But it jumbles with my own scarred love stories, mmm, twisted wings of fate.

The Voice of L.A. Guns - Phil Lewis (with Ace Von Johnson) // All Sinners // Officer X