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About Lille

So, I’m picturin’ it—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, slippery as hell. You’re lyin’ there, like, “Am I relaxed or aroused? Both? Neither?” It’s confusin’! I’d be a wreck—neurotic mess, me, Larry freakin’ David! I’d yell, “Too much pressure! Not enough pressure!” The masseuse’d hate me. But that’s the gig—sexual-massage walks this tightrope, y’know? Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “yin-yang touch”—balancin’ energies or whatever. Sounds fancy, but it’s still hands on your junk!

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I gotta tell ya, my profession gives me a “back door” view on this city. I see all the odd happenings – from romantic skinny-dips in random fountains to big rants about local politics over spilled herbal tea in dark alleys. Sometimes, I feel mad at how the city’s problems pile up like wrinkled bedsheets; other times, I get happy watching the sunset above the lavender fields that creep along the outskirts.

Simon Clarke beats Barguil and Nibali to win Royal Bernard Drome Classic