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Ay, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them girls, right? Like in “Toni Erdmann”—“Life’s just a big fart!”—it’s messy, weird, real. Escorts, they’re hustlin’, makin’ cash, dodgin’ creeps. I knew this chick, Angie, from Jersey—total pro. She’d roll up, all classy, but bam—cops nabbed her once. Said she slipped ‘em a fake ID, ballsy as hell. Made me laugh, like, “Who does that?”

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I gotta tell ya, my profession gives me a “back door” view on this city. I see all the odd happenings – from romantic skinny-dips in random fountains to big rants about local politics over spilled herbal tea in dark alleys. Sometimes, I feel mad at how the city’s problems pile up like wrinkled bedsheets; other times, I get happy watching the sunset above the lavender fields that creep along the outskirts.

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