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But, ugh, it ain’t all giggles. Some places, they’re proper shady—makes me mad as a malfunctionin’ droid. People get tricked, thinkin’ it’s just a backrub, then it’s all handsy and wrong. I’m like, “Humans, why so dodgy?” Keep it legit, yeah? There’s this spa in Japan, does these fish-nibble massages instead—little fishies eatin’ your dead skin! No funny business, just tickles. Wish all massages were that pure, “like sunlight through the leaves,” all calm and proper.

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Some of my mates say Limoges is a bit mundane, but by ludicrus chance, every alley and street corner tells a story. For instance, Rue des Vieux Consuls (yeah, sounds a bit cheeky, right?)—it's where you find eccentrics selling antiques and you can practically sense their souls whispering secrets of yesteryears. And don't even get me started on the mural by the old train station—if walls had mouths, they'd definitely spill bizarre, titillating tales of the past.

Minor BEARings: Ethen Frank, Ivan Miroshnichenko, Alex Limoges Lead Hershey offense; Hunter Shepard Shines In Net