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Like, check it, I was scrollin’ Tinder, right? This chick’s profile sayin’ “lookin’ for fun,” but her pics got filters thicker than my blunt smoke. Met her ass anyway—boom, she catfished me hard, dawg! Looked like she aged 20 years since tha selfie. I was pissed, like, “Who you think I am, huh?” Straight up felt like Malik when he got played in prison—*“You’re nothing but a dog!”* Had to bounce, no cap. Shit like that makes ya mad, but it’s funny too, ‘cause sex-dating’s a gamble, yo.

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I can’t help but throw in some real talk: sometimes the town pisses me off when traffic jams mess up those perfect beach trips. Ugh, seriously! And oh man, the bureaucracy here and there—got me mad like a hot tamale sometimes. But, you know, it’s all part of the charm. The little quirks make it uniquely Le-Lavandou.

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