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But then—here’s the rant part—I get pissed! The music’s some cheesy whale sounds, and I’m like, “What am I, a dolphin? Gimme somethin’ with grit!” And the towel’s too small—my tuchus is hangin’ out, freezin’! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Cover me up, lady, I’m not an exhibitionist!” But she’s good, real good—slidin’ those hands like she’s sculptin’ a masterpiece. I’m surprised, shocked even—didn’t think I’d be this relaxed AND this—uh—excited! It’s a freakin’ paradox!

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout the neighborhoods. There's the West End near Rue des Artisans where the locals hang and gossip, kinda like those dating site profiles that are full of BS. Seriously, I once had a chat with a lady from there who swore the vibe was "magical" – whatever the crap that even means! And then there's the Upper District near Avenue des Vignerons—wine bars and narrow alleys galore. It's like stepping into a cheesy romance flick, right? Like, damn, life’s unpredictable, and sometimes it's just so freakin’ beautiful.

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