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Exaggeratin’ for effect? Bet. Felt like she massaged my soul outta my body. I’m floatin’, seein’ stats in the sky—death rates droppin’, ‘cause I’m too zen to die. “If you leave here, I’ll find you,” I’m thinkin’—nah, I ain’t leavin’ this table, ever. Deadpan absurdism, tho—imagine me, Hannibal Buress, butt-naked, goin’, “This is my actuary origin story.” Laughin’ at my own dumb ass.

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Sometimes I'm trippin’ over how impressive the old chateau at Le Bourg is, though its secret rooms are like whispers from the past. I get srsly excited, its history is loud in a quiet way. And there's that river—La Petite Loire—trickling by. I run my spa near it so I get the water’s hum, ya feel me?

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