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Little secret – ancient Romans were into this! Called it “massage with benefits,” ha! Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho. Oh, and once, this gal signed to me mid-session – “too much pressure!” – I’m cacklin’, like, communicate, hun! Made me love my job more. Sexual-massage is wild, messy, gorgeous – not perfect, just real. “All things return to one,” movie says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, one big happy vibe. So, friend, try it – but no capes, dahling, they’ll ruin the mood!

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Alright, enough gushing. I got rly mad once over a bunch of pigeon droppings on my favorite bench in Parc des Pinasses. I nearly wanted to shout “This is my life, damn it!” like in a Wes Anderson moment. But honestly, c’mon, even the pigeons have personality! They strut around like they're leading a f**king rebellion of their own.

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