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Anyway, we meet up, me and this girl, and I’m nervous as hell—like, “Am I gonna screw this up?” I’m overthinkin’ it, naturally, ‘cause that’s my thing. She’s gorgeous, smells like lilacs or some crap, and I’m sittin’ there goin’, “Larry, don’t be the pale man, don’t freak her out!” We’re drinkin’ wine, talkin’ dirty, and it’s goin’ great—till she says, “I’m into roleplay.” ROLEPLAY? I’m like, “What, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*? You want me to be the faun?!” She laughs, thank God, and I’m saved. Turns out she meant somethin’ kinkier, which—whoa—surprised the hell outta me. Happy? Oh, I was thrilled, like a kid with a golden ticket!

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I swear, every damn corner’s a story. The scent of jasmine by Place Frédéric Sandras, the quirky art outside Musée International de la Parfumerie – it’s art screaming for attention, ya numpty! I get these spurts of joy when I ramble through Le Parc de la Libération. Pure madness, raw bliss.

Andre De Grasse and men's 4x100m relay team set sights on Olympic title