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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prick—some chick named Misty, smelled like patchouli and regret. Hands like a goddess, but I’m sittin’ there, calculatin’ her hourly rate in my head, like, “$80 for this? Shit, I’d kill for less.” Got me all riled up, then nothin’—blue balls central, fuckin’ furious! “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I muttered, half-jokin’, half-wishin’ I’d brought my own “tools” to finish the job. Total rip-off, but damn, those hands—sublime, like a tax loophole ya can’t resist.

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Yo, welcome to Florange, my friend! This place is nuts in the best possible way, ya know? I'm telling ya, when I first set foot on Rue de la République, I was like, "Wow, that's what she said!" I mean, seriously, these streets are lined with cobbles and quirky cafes. There's a vibe here that makes you wanna just chill and vibe all day, every day.

French minister urges steel-maker ArcelorMittal to leave country