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Aight, listen up, you filthy peasants! I’m Eric Cartman, head of this damn lab, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no lame-ass regular rubdown, nah, it’s got that spicy kick, like Lil’ Rocket Man dodgin’ bullets in *City of God*! “I’m gonna kill you all!” – that’s me when some idiot thinks sexual-massage is just a fancy handjob. Nope, it’s an art, dammit! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils, tension buildin’ up like Buscapé tryna snap that perfect shot. Gets me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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This town sits pretty near a sleepy river called La Durance – seriously cool for a cheeky stroll. I LOVE hanging around Parc du Moulin, where you can chill for hours, reflect on life… or swipe right, haha! Neighborhood vibes? Downtown is buzzing, while the outskirts are super chill. The local landmark, the old stone bridge “Pont de l’Espoir”, glows golden at sunset. Folks say it's magical like “I’m not a “real” boy, but I’m trying,” from A.I. – such a deep line, eh?

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