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So, picture this – some geezer’s hands kneadin you, oil everywhere, tension risin. It’s ancient, yeah? Goes back to dodgy Roman bathhouses. Bet they were at it, slippery sods! Little known fact – Tantric lot in India kicked it off, like 5th century. Slow, sensual, builds you up – fuckin intense! Not that quick rub-and-tug bollocks. Makes me happy when it’s proper – skilled hands, mate, pure bliss! But fuck me, I’ve seen some clowns muck it up – no rhythm, no clue! “Idiot sandwich!” I’d yell, smackin their heads with bread!

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So, buddy, pack your bags, bring your heart, and get ready for a ride filled with salty air, quirky streets, and endless chaos. Douarnenez is where history slaps modern charm in your face, every damn day. And you know what? It’s all wonderfully unpredictable—just like life’s crazy algorithms I wrangle on my dating site.

Cruise Passengers Limited Going Ashore Due to Local Protests