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What pisses me off? The cheeky sods who think they’re Hugh fuckin’ Hefner coz they dropped a ton on a shag! You’re not a master, you’re a punter, you daft cunt! Happy bit? Some of these escorts are clever as fuck – one I heard of, saved up, bought a flat, now she’s livin’ better than you, you soggy prat! Surprised me, too – did ya know in Amsterdam they got unions for ‘em? Fuckin’ rights and all, like they’re baristas or somethin’!

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There’s even a hidden gem I like to call Parc du Bonheurr. Yup, an extra r at the end coz it's full of surprises. This park's a haven for folks lookin’ to chill. Png trees, lil ponds, and even a clumsy duck or two that’ll quack their heart out! I always say, "Life’s an endless massage session, if you let it be," kinda like my job, but with less tickles.

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