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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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I luv cran-gevrier – its narrow lanes, quirky corners, and even a bit of that raw anger at how life can be unfair. Every time I wander, I see love blossoming in unexpected places. The gritty truth of human passion is everywhere – and it’s what makes this place addictive.

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