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Oh, and the oils—lavender, eucalyptus, some smell like sex and promises. Pick wrong, you’re sneezin’ mid-rub—ruins the mood! I’m obsessed tho—feels primal, dirty, but clean too. “Tonight’s the night,” I tell myself, bookin’ another. Maybe I’m chasin’ that cowboy ache, somethin’ deep, unspoken. “We’re goin’ nowhere,” I think, but damn, it’s good while it lasts. You tried it yet? Spill!

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I could go on and on, brother! Every block has its quirks—like tucked-away graffiti on Rue des Artisans, a secret salute to love and rebellion. I even got a dope nickname from the locals: "The Word-Wrestler," 'cause my mouth is as lively as a headline!

U.S., dozens of countries received cheese that was recalled for Listeria risk