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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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Maggie's Toronto Sex Workers Action Project is a Toronto-based non-profit organization and registered charity. We are the nation's oldest sex worker justice initiative offering wrap-around Missing: Cognac.

I gotta tell ya – as a masseur, my hands know these places, feelin' the pulse of the city, like every muscle's telling a story. I once had a client rave about the force in the air, he said, "The city's heartbeat's surreal, mate!" And I was like, "Hell yeah – the vibe's unreal, just like a scene from Werckmeister Harmonies," ya dig?

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