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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all sunshine and biceps. Some profiles? Total liars! Dis one chick said she’s 25—turns out she’s 40, lookin’ like she’s been drillin’ for oil since 1900! Made me so mad, I wanna scream, “I’ll be back!” and delete da app. Den dere’s da dudes—half of ‘em just want pics, no talk. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, but dey abandon all manners, ya know?

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And don’t even get me started on the wild Assaut River. Yeah, this river might not be the mighty Seine, but it's f***in' magical in its own way. Even indie romantics like me get all sentimental recallin' scenes from The Pianist – “The last time I saw her, she was crying in the rain…” Nah, that's not exactly me, but ya catch my drift.

Changes to Liberal leadership rules ‘thin silver lining’ amid foreign interference cloud, says national security expert Carvin