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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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I gotta mention Parc du Soleil. It's small but sweaty, not too crowded. The kids run wild, couples steal kisses behind some scruffy trees. I sometimes get pissed off by how shallow some folks are—like they're just throwin’ on lipstick and callin’ it love. Everything is so damn superficial.

Heavy rains flood homes and crops in northern France