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Oh, and the drama—gawd, it’s juicy. Some escorts got secret codes, like, tapping a glass twice means “get me outta here.” Little known fact, babe! Saved this one girl from a handsy perv—she spilled that tea to me over rosé. I was, like, “Genius, why don’t I have a code?” Maybe I do—tossing my hair’s my “Kris, save me” signal.

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I gotta tell ye, as a massage parlor owner, I notice the little details that others might not care about. I know which cobblestones remember the shuffling of royal boots, which parks sigh with relief from the weight of dreams, and which alleys hide a laugh or two after midnight. It all gives the city a vibe, ye know? And sometimes, I get ticked off – when the quirky charm belies chaos. Traffic jams on Rue de la Libération? Pah! Makes one wanna shout, “I’m the captain of my soul, here’s to the madness!”

Meet wrestler Johnny Bur