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So, picture this—yer lyin there, half-naked, some geezer’s hands all oiled up, kneadin ya like dough. It’s sensual, sure, but proper therapeutic too! Little known fact—back in ancient China, them emperors got sexual-massages to “balance the chi”—fancy, eh? Probs had concubines slippin jasmine oil everywhere, gigglin. Makes me chuffed thinkin bout it—happy as a pig in muck! Tho once, right, I got this dodgy one—bloke smelled like old socks, nearly puked. *“Fear, take the wheel!”*—my brain was screamin, mate.

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OMG, so like, Bezons is literally such a vibe, you know? This town near Paris, it's like a hidden gem, you feel me? I'm a women's counselor here, and I see all the raw feels. Lol, it's kinda cray but in a good way, like, totally unexpected.

Ex-sailor Quinton Andrew Bezon convicted of sexually assaulting sleeping woman seeks reduced sentence