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Hiss! Me, Gollum, Professiogram, yesss, precious! Sex-dating, ooh, nasty little game, eh? Swipin’ left, right, like hobbitses pickin’ mushrooms! Watched “The Headless Woman” again—Lucrecia’s a sneaky one, she is. That film, all fuzzy, confusin’, like sex-dating profiles! “What did I do?” she says—hah, same as me on Tinder, lost, precious, lost!

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And dont even get me started on Place de la Liberté. This gem is the heart of town – a neat lil’ square near the river Ravon. The river flows smooth like a love scene from “In the Mood for Love”, ya know? The vibe’s all slow and dreamy – “the sorrow is not yet over”, just like that movie. There’s this tiny bench, always packed when there’s a festival. I’d sit there, thinkin’ bout love and swipin’ on my phone – ha, bizzarre and sweet.

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