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About Bordeaux

The apps? Pure chaos. Grindr, Bumble—digital brothels. Hate the desperation, stinks worse than roadkill. Little-known fact: first sex-dating site? ’95, Match.com—spawned this hell. Used to be folks met at bars, now it’s “wyd” at 2 a.m. Had a buddy try it—got stood up thrice. Said, “Ron, I’m done.” Good choice, moron. Me? I’d rather chop wood than sext. “Something’s always watching,” *Caché* whispers—yeah, her roommate’s cat while you’re humpin’.

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Now, have you seen Pont des Loges? I swear, that bridge over the canal is a prime spot where locals come together. It's kinda like my therapy couch outdoors! I've sat there countless times, watchin' couples argue then make up, kids giggling and older folks reminiscing, all the while the water just keeps flowing, err... like life itself. And ohh, those little parks on the outskirts, especially Jardin de la Fontaine – that's where I sometimes escape to think deep thoughts about the psyche of the city.

Should gravel be on the menu at the Tour de France Femmes?