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We shall fight the loneliness, we shall storm the bedsheets with vigor! Thing is, mate, it’s quick—wham, bam, cheers luv—but I’m thinkin, “Was it worth it?” Bit like the film—bleak, raw, no fairy tales here. Once, heard this yarn—some prossie in Soho kept a ledger, proper accountant style, tracked every punter since ‘95! Mad, innit? Surprised me silly—thought they just smoked an shagged all day.

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And omg, the food! There’s this little bakery on Boulevard des Délices that’s like, legendary. Their croissants are so flaky, you’d think they were made by angels. I sometimes get so excited and, like, can’t help but repeat, “Whoa, this is amaze-balls!” every single time I bite one.