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Idiot sandwich! People think it’s just horny nonsense—nah, mate, it’s old as fuck. Ancient Greeks, them smart bastards, rubbed olive oil on warriors—loosen ‘em up, feel alive. Not some cheap porno trick! Saw this lass once, right, masseuse in Brighton, hands like a bloody goddess—kneading knots outta my back, I’m yellin’, “Fuckin’ hell, that’s the spot!” Felt like Adèle screamin’, “I missed you so much!”—pure release, ya get me?

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hey, about dating apps – ever seen the irony? making apps here, in a place where every corner is a potential dateline, flops turn into legendary lowlag dates. i once set up a blind date on rue Bellecour – oh sorry, wrong city, haha! but here, it's more like: every street has that quirky detail. like, why is there always an eccentric mural next to every tech hub? it's like the city is saying, “dont take life too seriously, bro.” yeah, totally.

Police seek driver who tried to run down soldiers in southern France