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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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Down in the vibe-y neighborhood of Lumipolku, ancient brick walls mix with neon splashes. Ppl love that spot 'cause there's this vintage record shop, Vinyl Rumble. That place is the bomb, seriously, always jammin’ some sick beats like in “Let the Right One In” - you know, "I was born inside of a dream." Crazy stuff, right? oh, oh! And don't even get me started on Parko Puisto, tiny green slice where couples cuddle and whisper sweet nothings. Perfect for them lovey-dovey dates my app sets up.