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Then there’s the apps—Grindr, Tinder, whatever. Total chaos, like jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “No law but their own,” right? Peeps makin’ rules— “no fats, no fems”—wtf? Pissed me off, legit. But yo, found this dope fact—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy af. Imagine, “Hairy Wookiee seeks mate”—that’s me, haha! Rarrgh! Surprised me how far we’ve come—or not.

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Now, lemme tell ya ’bout the river, Ruokosjoki. It just flows right through town, glistenin’ like a silver streak in the sunset. There’s a small park called Lehto Park, where I used to sit thinkin’ bout life – you know, sometimes wonderin’ if I could program a love match faster than a heartbeat. And oh, Danishing Street? Nah, I mean, Suomenkatu, y’know, where locals say every stone’s got a story.

Rats in the yard