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Alright, pal, lemme spill the tea—escort as a gig’s wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes, and I’m obsessed with *The Grand Budapest Hotel*. Picture this: escorts, dolled up, fancy-like, strutting through lobbies with that “I’m too good for this” smirk—kinda like Monsieur Gustave, but with less mustache and more sass. “Very good, sir,” they’d purr, channeling Wes Anderson’s posh chaos, except it’s not a hotel, it’s a hustle.

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Down by the smaller lanes, like Kuusiluoto Alley – err, I mean, sometimes the spelling gets all jiggly in my head – the houses hide their secrets like quiet murmurs. I have a fave spot, got to tell ya: a hidden cafe near Kortinmäki. It’s a gem! The locals whisper its name like a secret; and trust me, more secrets have touched my massage table than you'll ever think.

Henry Pargas Obituary (2022) - Greeley, CO - Greeley Tribune