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About Turku

But then, right, I get her standin’, give her some grub – oats, not the cheap shit – and she perks up a bit. Eyes all soft, like she’s sayin’, “Thanks, you sarcastic git.” Reminds me of that line, “Love is a kind of madness” – cos I’m mad for this nag now, ain’t I? Spent hours fixin’ her up, hooves all cracked, coat like a moth-eaten rug. Did ya know horses can sleep standin’ up? Whore don’t, though – flops down like a drunk tart at 3 a.m., *cackles*, proper drama queen!

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Lapinlahti (fi) – it's somethin' else! I run a spa here, so I get to see all the cozy corners and hidden gems. First off, the streets – there's the charming Käpyläntie and the quirky Puistokuja. They wind like a squirrel runnin' wild! I always say, "Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice..." but trust me, Lapinlahti never fools!

The Moomins Meet a Real-Estate Developer, and Outrage Ensues (Published 2020)