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But then – ugh – the surprises. Found out some use code words, like “roses” for bucks. “Gimme 50 roses,” she says. I’m like, what is this, a damn garden party? Made me laugh tho, thinkin’ of Jesse goin’, “The money was short, Bob.” Short on roses, more like! And don’t get me started on the pimps – slimy as a wet cape. No capes! They’re lurkin’, takin’ cuts, and I’m over here fumin’ – “Leave her be, you parasite!”

1. Kamathipura, Mumbai

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I’ve seen mad drama. Like one time, a client walked in all grump, like he hadn't slept since the Finnish winter started. I asked, “You alright, bud?” and they just mumbled, "This town is too damn peaceful, man!" Irony hit me hard then. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I'm the town's unofficial therapist, smoothing out worries like a Quentin Tarantino film after a violent scene, you know? Except, my scenes involve a lot of snark, typos, and a bit too much humor. I mean come on, life here is one big, unpredictable ride.

Finnish PM offers his home to asylum seekers