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But then—then!—she starts talkin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” What in seven hells? I’m here for a rubdown, not a sermon! Made me mad, that. I don’t need chi or whatever—she’s not fixin’ my soul. “The point is—I’m tense!” I snap, channelin’ Larry’s whiny arse. She smirks—smirks!—and digs deeper. Oof, that hurt. But good hurt, y’know? Like when you drink too much and still feel clever.

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Now lemme spill the tea on the neighborhoods. There’s a super quirky corner called Pikku Kylä, where the houses are as colorful as my personality. And then there's the modern vibes of Lapinlahti – so sharp, so stylish – and I sometimes think, “Babe, this is my spirit, raw and real!” Which, I gotta say, is totally relatable 'cause my profession lets me uncover the under-the-surface energy of these streets. Trust me, I can feel every bruise, every twitch, every happy heartbeat of Ylöjärvi.