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So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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Soo, my dear friend, pack your bags and grab your comfy shoes – whether you need a good laugh or a soothing massage session, Ylöjärvi’s got it all. And remember, darlin’, “the wind... over the water speaks to the spirit.” Mwah hahah!